Open Mouth; Insert Foot

Ode to Embarrassment:

When with my friends, I'm rather witty;

I ought to be paid for my word-smithy.

But when it comes to the other gender,

Awkward blunders is all I tender.

So, the rhyme is a little loose in places, but I composed it on the spot and it's the utter truth (pun intended).  Why is it that the most embarrassing times happen when you feel the most is at stake?  It would appear that many people crack under the pressure.  At least I'm not the only one.  The following are real experiences; the names have been left out and the context may be slightly altered to protect the innocent, but it was far too funny not to share!

Case in Point:

A young lady studying nursing is chatting with a colleague of the opposite gender, at least twice her age.  They're making polite and totally innocent banter. He jokes about her giving him an IV of Peppiness, as he's accustomed to having.  She says she doesn't do that, but if there's anything else she can do to let her know, then without thinking, she counters "Do you need a bed bath?"  The man, not sure how to respond to that, makes a b-line for the nearest door.  Through the tears of embarrassed laughter she and her coworkers are sharing, she confesses that she had just finished Clinicals the previous day and that's the first nursing task that came to mind.

Another Self-Inflicted Embarrassment:

A young woman (though still an adult) is working on a project with some coworkers, both male and female.  This young woman frequently has songs and movies streaming through her thoughts and can frequently be found blurting out-of-context portions of them as they come to mind.  At this particular moment in time, the conversation turns her mind toward a Shirley Temple film (Captain January) in which the little girl calls her adopted dad - a lighthouse keeper - and his fisherman friend to share her birthday cake with her.  At that moment, the young woman's internal mute button gives way and she blurts out the following movie quote, "Come and get it, sailors!"

So, in conclusion, I wish to give thanks to all those people out there - and right here - who always seem to say the most embarrassing things at the most inopportune times.  Take it from one who has lived through several of these moments: I've never seen anyone die of embarrassment, no matter how hard they try, so laugh it off and keep moving on; maybe next time, the other person will be the one who twists their tongue while you enjoy the moment!!

How Low Can You Go?!

This entry isn't so much about the date part of dating, but the socializing portion leading up to the date.  Perhaps this is where all battles are won or lost - before it really begins.  It's important not to take yourself too seriously or you might encounter an experience that could break you.

I have a firm conviction of the importance of being able to laugh at one's self in the face of embarrassment.  Sometimes you must laugh through severe discomfort, but I assure you, it's by far the best thing to do to avoid the urge to crawl into a remote hole somewhere and never come out.  So, here's the skinny on the situation I fell into tonight.

We're planning a CPR activity later this week for the women only in my LDS Ward - our enrichment activity.  I was at my weekly Family Home Evening group gathering and someone announced it for the ladies present.  One of the guys in our group asked what time he should show up.  After some of the others said that boys weren't invited, which he knew very well, I thought I would give him an option.

Thinking only of the chest compression portion of the CPR exercise (I assure you!), I said, "We'll be doing CPR, so if you wanna come and be the dummy. . . ."  I didn't even get it until he emphatically agreed to come and be the dummy.  Everyone lost it and I did too.  I turned so red in the face, I thought I had skipped forward 30 years, right into menopause.  I just about died!  It took a little while before I gathered my composure.  Way to impress the men-folk, Self; way to go.

All I can say is that I laughed 'til I cried and my ability to laugh at myself made it much easier to get closer to the others in the group.  I'm positive that if I had not laughed in that embarrassing moment, I would have cried in emotional pain and I would never have been able to face any of them again.  I still cried, but they were over-happy tears!

Oh, the things I say in mixed company.  Phew!!  Now, let that be a lesson to you.