Saturday, May 8, 2010

Arrested Courtship

So, I was thinking back on some of my dating experiences in the past and one evening came clearly to my mind. I was on a group date with several of my friends. Playing games makes for a fun date and this night was full of it.

To fully appreciate the situation, you have to know that many of my friends - at least the ones in this group - were involved in theater throughout high school and many even after. So, we went to the local mall and divided into two groups. The goal for each group was to get the most bang for their buck. We literally set forth to see who could get the most 'merchandise' for no more than a dollar, total. The winning team obviously had the most marked ingenuity, but they also got to pick a dare for the losing group to perform.

My group didn't cut the mustard and had to be subjected to the 'punishment' of the other group. In short, each couple had to pick a place in the mall where they would have a loud (and embarrassing) break-up argument in front of everyone. For reasons I won't go into, my date and I had to do our challenge twice. Our second time is the one that packed the most umph, if you will.

We began to argue in a relatively deserted place in the mall - it was mostly deserted because it was approaching closing time - located near one of the large, anchor department stores. As we began to fight (by what was said, we had apparently fought a lot in public) and things got pretty heated. I was having fun. I noticed that we kind of alarmed an employee of that department store, so we knew it was relatively realistic.

Suddenly, for me, a man came out from the partially closed metal cage covering the entrance to the department store. He looked like any other person, but he was definitely coming toward us rather than looking at us out of the corner of his eye as he passed, like the other mall patrons. This, we found out soon enough, was because he was no ordinary mall patron. The conversation went something like this (M= Myself; D=My date; C=Concerned man): C-"What seems to be the problem, here?" M-"I'm sorry; he always does this. I'm so embarrassed, sir." C-"Well, I'm Officer So-n-so, and you two are causing quite the ruckus, here."
At this point, I'm thinking, the jig's up - this is a cop. Better confess you're just acting and be done, then just go away quietly. Apparently, my date had a different idea because he replied to the officer, D-"Well, Officer, she's just being a jerk!" I guess we're not confessing anything, I realized. I turned to look embarrassingly at our friends, who were all hiding behind the escalator, watching this whole thing unfold.
C-"Sir, this isn't the time or the place to behave like this. Why don't you two just settle down and go on home; the mall is closing anyway." M-"You're right, Officer. I'm just so embarrassed this happened. It's not the first time, and - well, we'll just get going. Thank you, sir. I'm sorry!" As I walked away, acting angry with my date for causing such a scene. One of my friends joined me to offer some mock comfort, and my date stormed from the officer, following us out.

We got the award for most effective break-up of the night. I was a wreck inside; trembling with nerves and feeling like we had to have just barely escaped being arrested. When my parents asked how my date went later that evening, I told them, "Great. It was really fun. Oh, and we almost got arrested." Looking back, I realize that this guy was probably a mall cop in civilian clothes. I was terribly nervous at the time, but looking back it's quite entertaining. I suppose I learned my lesson: when dating a guy involved in drama, anything can happen, so be prepared to talk yourself out of any situation.